She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
