How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
