whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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