And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
not ubering you a puppy
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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