well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
