She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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