**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
