So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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