its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I want her autograph on my taint
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
