Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
