Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
