So gin and wine won't be happening again
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
