her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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