So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
