Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
