I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
