Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!

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  (248): Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count! http://tfl.nu/jr1g
  Replies (5) Good night (836) Bad night (780)
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  (845): View more from New York

  i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low

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  (845): i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low http://tfl.nu/h0oa
  Replies (7) Good night (677) Bad night (1172)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.

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  (201): you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful. http://tfl.nu/ngce
  Replies (10) Good night (10165) Bad night (650)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.

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  (617): he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant (617): then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him. http://tfl.nu/q2li
  Replies (6) Good night (875) Bad night (3734)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".

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  (403): I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby". http://tfl.nu/2blo
  Replies (49) Good night (631) Bad night (3391)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am

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  (250): They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am http://tfl.nu/0rv3
  Replies (3) Good night (3261) Bad night (1165)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall

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  (919): I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall http://tfl.nu/tdv6
  Replies (17) Good night (3491) Bad night (1478)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.

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  (504): I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina. http://tfl.nu/1q7d
  Replies (15) Good night (4468) Bad night (868)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.

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  (315): I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions. http://tfl.nu/ogn1
  Replies (3) Good night (2682) Bad night (962)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki

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  (250): I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki http://tfl.nu/rhok
  Replies (14) Good night (2922) Bad night (1077)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI

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  (303): It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI http://tfl.nu/jysc
  Replies (4) Good night (966) Bad night (594)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him

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  (518): Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him http://tfl.nu/dlpo
  Replies (9) Good night (1318) Bad night (474)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.

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  (316): You're always so generous when it comes to your dick. http://tfl.nu/6xho
  Replies (3) Good night (1117) Bad night (472)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...

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  (405): I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point... http://tfl.nu/xse9
  Replies (8) Good night (367) Bad night (889)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.

  (1-315): View more from New York

  FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.

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  (315): Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now. (1-315): FUCK NYC TRAFFIC. http://tfl.nu/xj14
  Replies (2) Good night (856) Bad night (296)

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