You made me cry and you don't even care
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
