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• (904): View more from Florida

  You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.

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• (+44): View more from England

  mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.

  (+44): View more from England

  "and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep

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• (650): View more from California

  I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter

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• (253): View more from Washington

  That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.

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