Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
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It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
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She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books