My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
