I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
