Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
