i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize