we're blogging at a bar
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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