I'm going to jail i love you
one two three fourrrrnication!
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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