Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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