...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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