3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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