If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
