why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
