I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
