he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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