i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
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Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
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We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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