The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Found the puke drawer
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
