I want to have your abortion
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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