You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Can I color on your dick again?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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