I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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