the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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