Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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