Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Randomize
