So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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