Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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