Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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