I want to walk on stilts...naked
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
