i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
