i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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