I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
