she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
