the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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