all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Congratulations! We have a period
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