I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It's shark week go big or go home
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
