I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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