what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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