I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
its liver damage thursday
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
