Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball