Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(740): View more from Ohio

i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina

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(650): View more from California

I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.

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(208): View more from Idaho

why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.

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19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Read it at the TFLN blog
(805): View more from California

the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.

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(334): View more from Alabama

He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.

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(618): View more from Illinois

Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.

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(719): View more from Colorado

I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry

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(941): View more from Florida

Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.

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