Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'

  (312): View more from Illinois

  i was like PREG?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?' (312): i was like PREG? http://tfl.nu/r2o4
  Replies (9) Good night (1054) Bad night (1219)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up. http://tfl.nu/tcvy
  Replies (2) Good night (1089) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm. http://tfl.nu/s4sh
  Replies (9) Good night (2895) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach http://tfl.nu/tgf3
  Replies (24) Good night (3750) Bad night (2283)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef. http://tfl.nu/9csw
  Replies (31) Good night (698) Bad night (4828)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard. http://tfl.nu/gkmc
  Replies (62) Good night (9736) Bad night (1630)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  ...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): ...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks http://tfl.nu/unmu
  Replies (19) Good night (3484) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american" http://tfl.nu/1xh1
  Replies (26) Good night (8037) Bad night (1142)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting" http://tfl.nu/ix3k
  Replies (8) Good night (3248) Bad night (1154)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta. http://tfl.nu/gtno
  Replies (12) Good night (641) Bad night (2502)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor http://tfl.nu/ext1
  Replies (5) Good night (1020) Bad night (2147)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well. http://tfl.nu/5evy
  Replies (4) Good night (1309) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that. http://tfl.nu/kiyu
  Replies (1) Good night (645) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (+48): View more from Poland

  It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+48): It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this. http://tfl.nu/tdnl
  Replies (6) Good night (507) Bad night (390)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  this hospital has no fireball

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): this hospital has no fireball http://tfl.nu/h1f7
  Replies (4) Good night (526) Bad night (307)

Randomize