I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.