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I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
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