ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
