There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
