ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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