I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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