So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
