im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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