I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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