i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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