I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
