I wish I could punch you in the face.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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